Dear Dad: 10 Things She Might Not Say—But Really Needs

Dear Dad,

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Whether you just found out you're having a baby or you're six months into midnight feedings, this one’s for you.

Becoming a parent is huge. And while there’s a lot out there about what she should be doing, feeling, or buying—there’s not always as much about how you can support her.

So we’re going to say the quiet stuff out loud. Here are 10 things the mom in your life might not say—but really, truly needs.

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1. Notice me.

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She’s not looking for applause every second, but those little nods? They matter.
A quick “You’re doing amazing,” or “I see how hard you’re working,” goes a long way. Even a glance across the room that says “I’ve got you” can change the tone of her entire day.

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2. Please take the lead sometimes.

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She doesn’t want to be the only one who knows the diaper sizes, pediatrician’s number, or which bottle goes with which pump.
Read the instructions. Book the appointment. Learn the bedtime routine. You’re just as capable—and it feels good to know you’ve got it handled, too.

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3. Check in on me, not just the baby.

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After the baby comes, the world’s attention shifts. Everyone asks about the baby.
You can be the one who asks her, “How’s your body feeling?” or “Are you sleeping at all?” or “How’s your heart?”

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4. Don't fix it. Just sit with me.

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If she’s crying, overwhelmed, or shut down—your job isn’t to solve it. It’s to stay with it. Hold her hand. Let her be messy. Remind her she’s not alone.
Presence > solutions.

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5. Tell me I’m still me.

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New motherhood can feel like an identity shift no one warned her about.
Let her know: You still see her. The way she smiles. What she’s passionate about. The things she used to love. Remind her that the woman she’s been still exists—even if she can’t see it yet.

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6. This is your baby too.

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Not helping you—partnering with you. Not babysitting—parenting. She doesn’t need you to ask if she wants a break. She needs you to take initiative and do the thing—because it’s your baby, your home, your role too.

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7. Ask what I need before assuming.

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Sometimes help is dinner. Sometimes it’s space. Sometimes it’s a hug, or time to cry alone in the shower.
When in doubt, just ask: “What do you need right now?” It’s one of the kindest things you can offer.

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8. I need to be touched without expectations.

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After birth, her body has been through a lot—physically, emotionally, hormonally. And now? It’s constantly in demand.
The baby wants to be held. Fed. Rocked. Carried. Her body becomes utility, 24/7.
And while she may be touched constantly, it’s often not the kind of touch that makes her feel human, seen, or loved.

That’s why gentle, non-sexual touch matters so much right now.

Things like:

• A kiss on the forehead
• Rubbing her shoulders while she feeds the baby
• Holding her hand while she cries or zones out on the couch
• Brushing her hair out of her face without comment
• Sitting next to her in silence and putting your arm around her—just because

It reminds her: This is not all she is. She is still worthy of affection, comfort, and connection.

Touch without pressure tells her:

“I see you. I’m with you. I want to care for you, not just get something from you.”

It’s healing. And sometimes, it’s everything.

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9. Let me rest without guilt.

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She’s tired in a way sleep can’t always fix.
Encourage her to rest. Protect her time. Don’t keep score.
Say: “Take a nap—I’ve got everything covered.” And mean it.

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10. Keep choosing us.

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This season is hard. It stretches everything—your patience, your identity, your partnership.
She may not always say it, but she needs to know: You’re in it with her. Still choosing her. Still showing up, even when it’s messy.

Because you’re not just parenting together—you’re growing up together, too.

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💬 Villie’s Take

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At Villie, we believe real support starts with visibility. That’s why we built our platform around seeing what parents actually need—not just what looks cute in a registry.

Whether you're a first-time dad or doing it all again, let these reminders guide you. You don’t have to be perfect. Just present.

And hey—if you want a way to support her tangibly? Help her set up a Villie Baby Page. It lets you:

• Organize meals, rides, and check-ins
• Link registries and cash funds
• Keep friends and family in the loop without overloading her inbox

Support starts with small actions—and this is a great place to begin.

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